Tuesday, August 21, 2012

What is Asperger's Syndrome? wiseGEEK

What is Asperger's Syndrome?

wisegeek.org

Help! I don't know what to say. I believe my husband has something. Anti-Social, passive aggressive, Aspergers. High intelligence. But he literally is out of touch. He says he has been living inside his head. What does that mean? We have been married 20 years. The last ten have been awful. I have two boys, now teenagers. They are both bright, but have empathy, eye contact and laugh.

He has bullied me. Won't look me in the eye. Makes me write things down. I can't tell him if something needs to get done. Ex. Cutting the lawn for Mother's Day. He got so made at me and didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. I have been going to a domestic violence shelter for 2 years now. Abusive? I don't know. Lack of affection, won't even kiss me, even when I ask! Literally pushes me away. He says he loves me and that I am beautiful, but his actions say something else. I have gotten my affection and love from my sons for the last 10 years. However, they are now teenagers. Kids get older, and so did I. Time for them to lead their own lives. College soon.

Sex is robotic. I have stopped that for the last year. It feels like I am being used. Almost abusive. Someone actually had to tell me this behavior towards me is abusive and harming me. I had breast cancer and he was not supportive. I couldn't even talk to him about it.

I feel so alone. I have been to the lawyer, but I couldn't understand until I came to this section. I think this is what he has. Highly intelligent. Programmer. Excels at his job. He works at home and doesn't leave the house for days. Doesn't bother him. Malls and grocery stores cause anxiety for him. I have been sending him out on small trips to get him out of the house and be more independent. I have asked him to stop coaching my sons in baseball. But he sneaks in behind my back. This has been going on for seven years. He promises he won't, but then does it anyway. He is passive-aggressive. Has severe psoriasis. He is a control freak. I don't know. My counselors say he has odd behaviors.

Thank you for listening. Being on the other side is difficult. He shows no emotion. Even when his mom died and when his brother died. He is okay with kids and animals. I used to be jealous of the dog! No manners. Never opens the door. Barely says thank you. Walks ahead of women. I have to constantly remind him.

Thanks, everyone. I am just confused. I am also emotionally drained and exhausted. Horrible migraine headaches weekly. Aches and pains I cannot describe. Stress is tearing me up.

I am just trying to understand this disorder. He won't get tested. I did an online one with him and he fibbed. When I did it pretending I was him. He was on the spectrum. Any advice? Lonely and Heartbroken

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